We’ll I don’t usually write about current events but what the hell. This is my website right?Here is a list straight from the president’s desk about the current situation with Hurricane Ike. I told him that I’d publish it.
My fellow Americans, we all remember the catastrophic and deadly terrorist attack from Katrina nearly four years ago. The people of New Orleans suffered a great deal of distress from that Mexican WMD. In light of that, and the fact that I own a ranch there, I will not let Hurricane Ike beat up the great state of “Tina Texas Turner.”
Here are some defenses I plan to use as the storm approaches:
1) Put a sign on the beach saying “Ike, Mexico is too the right.”
2) Find Katrina, Ike’s lover, and lock her up in Guantanamo Bay. That’ll teach him.
3) Kick my size 11 Cowboy boots all up that storms ass.
4) Find Rumsfeld and let him deal with it.
5) Get the National Guard to shoot bullets at it.
It is important that as Americans that we stick together like some sort of crazy gluey substance. Much like how Condi won’t leave my side. I love that woman; she is classy. Anyway, I will be using numerous amounts of resources and money to fund this project but it will not affect the taxpayers one bit. I will go down as a national hero. Look out Ike, storms a coming. By the way, do you think Darth will let me borrow some Storm Troopers? That’s what I need. I’m sure they can take care of this.
Sincerely,
The “W”
My fellow Americans, we all remember the catastrophic and deadly terrorist attack from Katrina nearly four years ago. The people of New Orleans suffered a great deal of distress from that Mexican WMD. In light of that, and the fact that I own a ranch there, I will not let Hurricane Ike beat up the great state of “Tina Texas Turner.”
Here are some defenses I plan to use as the storm approaches:
1) Put a sign on the beach saying “Ike, Mexico is too the right.”
2) Find Katrina, Ike’s lover, and lock her up in Guantanamo Bay. That’ll teach him.
3) Kick my size 11 Cowboy boots all up that storms ass.
4) Find Rumsfeld and let him deal with it.
5) Get the National Guard to shoot bullets at it.
It is important that as Americans that we stick together like some sort of crazy gluey substance. Much like how Condi won’t leave my side. I love that woman; she is classy. Anyway, I will be using numerous amounts of resources and money to fund this project but it will not affect the taxpayers one bit. I will go down as a national hero. Look out Ike, storms a coming. By the way, do you think Darth will let me borrow some Storm Troopers? That’s what I need. I’m sure they can take care of this.
Sincerely,
The “W”
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