To do this you will need the following:
- Papers. Lots and lots of papers
- A telephone
- A big desk calendar
Step 1 – Understand that computer games aren’t work-related – It’s that slow time of year at ABC Company, and you don’t want to be caught playing computer games like Dynomite® or the highly-addictive Sudoku. So what now? You know at any moment your boss can check in with you. Here is a tip: keep Microsoft Outlook® open. I mean, what is more productive than checking in on that highly regarded communication tool?
Step 2 – Shuffle Papers – Keep a pile of papers at your desk. Any kind of papers will do: old papers, new papers, red papers, blue papers. Even blank papers will do. Sorry, this would have interrupted the Dr. Suess-like rhyme. But seriously, if you have nothing to do and your boss walks by to say hello, you shuffle the papers like it is interrupting your busy day. If you let out a sigh of frustration as they pass you, then you have just completed one of the greatest non-productive moves.
Step 3 – Cell Phones and Desk Phones – Put your work number on speed dial in your cell phone. Keep your cell phone in your lap and, with the push of a button, call yourself. Say, “Geez, I’d love to talk right now, boss, but I have this call I need to take.” Important: you need to have a good opening line. Example: “Hi, you’ve reached (insert name here) at (insert department name here). Oh, Sally, hi, how are you? Did you receive that proposal I sent you?...” Proposal is an excellent loaded word that will keep your boss happy. To propose something means that the company has new possibilities on the corporate horizon and you are going to ride that wave all the way to it. Remember to give your boss some gesture to say, ‘I’d love to talk right now, but as you can see, I am getting things done.’
Step 4 – Make stuff up – You can make anything up, and as long as you look productive, do it. Pretend to clean your desk, or take out client folders and put them right back. You can do this for about an eight- hour shift and everyone will see you as a tidy go-getter. Another example of this is to mark stuff on that big desk calendar that the company gave you. You can mark anniversaries, vacation time or just doodle little faces.
