This goes out to my man, Brian Cook who requested this. And yes, Brian is above the legal age and women five-years younger than him would also be above the legal age. Author doesn’t promote “To Catch a Predator” actions.
Step 1 – Be Hungry Like the Wolf – For you to handle a younger woman, you have to get out of the feed me mentality. Younger women want a man that can handle the hunt, so to speak. Leave the geriatric pack and pull up your pants (not above your bellybutton) and handle your business. For example, if you see a younger lady, at the local watering hole, that sparks your interest do some cartwheels towards her then buy her that drink. You will be that talk of the town and you’ll have someone to help you out of the bar at the end or the night. Pretend you’re drunk so it doesn’t draw attention to your pulled back.
Step 2 – Location, Location, Location – Ever since shows like “The Hills” or “The OC” ladies have been into, that’s right, Geography. It’s no joke, they absolutely love it. So find yourself a stretch of land, a body of water, literally anything as long as it isn’t a plateau. This will remind them of the five pounds they desperately want to lose but just can’t seem to get there.
Step 3 – Go Where They Go – You’ll have to attend some annoying events but if you want to get the girl you’ll have to sacrifice self-dignity. Next time there is a Sex and the City movie, or a Red Jumpsuit Apparatus concert or a sale at Old Navy, go there. And pretend like you appreciate it, but not too much. You don’t want them to get the wrong idea.
Step 4 – Get Out the Old Tricks – Remember the old schemes you used to pull when you were young. More than likely they still work. No, that doesn’t give you the right to keg stand at the bar or pass her a note with two check boxes under the question; “Do you like me?” But if you were smooth back then, you can be smooth now (just slower and more forgetful).
Step 2 – Location, Location, Location – Ever since shows like “The Hills” or “The OC” ladies have been into, that’s right, Geography. It’s no joke, they absolutely love it. So find yourself a stretch of land, a body of water, literally anything as long as it isn’t a plateau. This will remind them of the five pounds they desperately want to lose but just can’t seem to get there.
Step 3 – Go Where They Go – You’ll have to attend some annoying events but if you want to get the girl you’ll have to sacrifice self-dignity. Next time there is a Sex and the City movie, or a Red Jumpsuit Apparatus concert or a sale at Old Navy, go there. And pretend like you appreciate it, but not too much. You don’t want them to get the wrong idea.
Step 4 – Get Out the Old Tricks – Remember the old schemes you used to pull when you were young. More than likely they still work. No, that doesn’t give you the right to keg stand at the bar or pass her a note with two check boxes under the question; “Do you like me?” But if you were smooth back then, you can be smooth now (just slower and more forgetful).
1 comment:
Best. How-to. Ever.
Thanks The Horse!
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