Don' cha know!!

By Jerry Colon, contributing opinion writer

Anyone who has ever seen the cartoon Bobby's World knows the line "Don' cha know". Now watch an interview or speech by Republican Vice Presidential Selection Sarah Palin and throw that in now and again. You might notice that it mixes in without missing a beat. I always thought that the Republican Party was pompous arrogant but now there are out right saying that Americans are so stupid that they will go along with anything they say. I don't know what else the case may be. In one decision, John McCain let the nation know he is not prepared to run this country.

Choosing a running mate is a lot like picking teams in gym class. It's not that hard, you choose who you think is good based on previous performance and basic knowledge. So McCain is looking at the line up and decides to completely pass over the strong or fast kids, passed the kids that play on sport teams already and went right for the new fat kid with asthma. Being the fat kid with asthma I feel for their plight here but that in no way means I would be the best selection. What was he thinking? I personally feel that this was an experiment of sorts to see what they could really get away with. The sad thing is that people are eating this garbage up. It is obvious that McCain felt he needed support from white female voters and the more conservative / Christian moral values people. This is the only reason I will buy for picking her. She has absolutely no substance.

The McCain campaign has made sure that she stays away from the media and doesn't give many interviews so that she won't reveal the biggest disrespect of the American people since the fictional literature of the 9/11 Commission Report. The few interviews she has given have been complete disasters. The McCain campaign claimed Palin was caught up in “Gotcha Journalism” as if to say he words were taken out of context. She was never asked how she felt on controversial subjects. She was only asked to site some examples of her claims or basically of any knowledge of something other than being an average hockey mom. Well I'm sorry for expecting the potential Vice President to know what someone taking a political science course at a community college would know. She couldn’t even site examples of what her own running mate has done.

I remember reading and watching the reactions of the V.P. Debate Thursday Night 10/2/08 and thinking I must have seen an alternate airing of the broadcast. I saw article after article and report after report about what a great job she did. How she put to rest any doubts and fears even her own Party had in her. What I saw was Palin deflecting question after question by going on these tangents about Joe Sixpack and Americans wanting this Straight Talk. Saying things like Gosh Darn it and more Straight Talk (now would be a good time to add that Don' Cha Know). I was talking to my wife about what this Straight Talk might be and she hit it right on the nail. Palin must be talking about Americans not wanting Gay or Homosexual Talk. They just want Straight God fearing no acknowledgement of same sex couples Talk. I mean if this is not the case then maybe she should have gone into what this Straight Talk might have entailed instead of just going to great lengths to coming across as mediocre, oh I mean average.

Apparently my simple six pack of beer drinking little league hockey watching mind can not handle anything so I need to be spoken to like I am a child, and they call Biden condescending. This should be upsetting to everyone but as a recent study showed that the average American IQ was down to 98 (with the lowest scores coming from "Red" states) maybe it's true. Maybe we just need to be given bottles and told bed time stories about how Momma and Poppa are going to make sure we are being spoken to simply enough to understand the grown up talk. Wake up people. There is a very likely possibility that this woman could end up President of the United States.

A woman who believes that we walked with the dinosaurs less than 5,000 years ago. That believes it was God's will to invade Iraq and for Alaska to provide a natural gas pipeline to the lower 48 states. That when the end of days nears Alaska would be one of the last great bastions of humanity. Who was associated to a Party that advocated the secession of Alaska from the U.S., which by the way is considered treason. Not to mention the little mishap where she cited Alaska's proximity to foreign countries as foreign policy experience. Some one should tell the Govs of all U.S. states bordering Canada and Mexico to update their resumes. This is the person that could have access to the nuclear codes, or as she would say "nuculer". Well at least when she screws us we'll be getting the Straight Talk Don' cha know.

How-To Break Up

Please have the following notes ready:
Tissues (could be for tears of joy or sadness).
An escape plan – if it gets messy, get out of there. A friend to call you in about an hour to make sure you’re okay – also works as an escape plan.
A good excuse – usually it’s human nature to know why your being rejected

Step 1 – Be classy – Everyone knows that an honorable and successful break-up is face-to-face. Take the other one out to dinner but not somewhere expensive (might get the wrong idea), or cheap (like McDonalds), but somewhere like Sizzler or Hometown Buffet should do the trick. Also, it’s best to be in public so nothing bad happens.

Step 2 – Do not say “It’s not you it’s me” – We all know that line, and we all know that it is the other person. Would you break up with someone because you annoy yourself? Heck no, they are the ones that are annoying, cramping your style and/or your street cred. Just break the news nicely so you don’t get water splashed in your face.

Step 3 - Do not do any type of breaking up electronically – This goes back to the first step. Do not break up over e-mails, text messages or IM’s. It’s highly doubtful that the other person will take “We’re over, lol” or “BRB never” as anything funny or positive. No one wants a sad emoticon during a break up.

Step 4 - Do not try to be cool when you’re breaking-up – Do not say stuff like “Do you have a band-aid? ‘Cause your Cut!” or as you get off the phone “Are you near a closet? You are? Then hang this up!” Even though it is quite funny, it really isn’t for this situation.

Step 5 – Make sure you have all of your stuff – This is very important, because the last thing you want to do is go through the task of breaking up with someone with your stuff at their house. One, your stuff may be broken by the time you get it. Two, no one wants to have to look at the person they just broke up with and say “I forgot my Rick Astley ‘Never Gonna Give you Up’ single.” It’s best to clear house before you actually have the sit-down.

Step 6 – Think of it like pulling off a band-aid© - Just get it over with. Don’t go to a movie or something and wait for the right time to do it. You may end up enjoying the flick and not want to do it just when the plot is thickening. Plus if you wait it out, you have to spend even more time with this person.

Step 7 – Do not do this at a family function – Awkward!!!!

Step 8 – Be sober – Your judgment will probably be better sober than it would be after a few drinks. Also, you may start crying for no reason. Nobody wants to be broken up with while their soon-to-be ex is swaying and slurring and saying “Listen, this is serious…”

Step 9 – Do not point out their flaws – Pointing out their inability to dance, lack of style, bad taste in movies, their weird collection of stuffed animals, their obsession with Dave Matthews Music and so on will not help out your cause.